Why procrastination harms you

ItIt seems ironic that I put off writing this article for weeks. I was busy, caught up in life and trying to keep balance. Well, that is at least what I told myself as I repeatedly did other things instead of writing it.

So do you ever wonder what procrastination is about? We often think it is laziness or poor time management. It seems that isn’t the case.

Procrastination was studied in 2013 by Dr Tim Pychyl of Carleton University and Dr Fuschia Sirois.¹ They found that procrastination is about managing immediate emotions or moods. We put things off because we don’t like something about the task, and that links into feelings of anxiety, fear, self-doubt or low self-esteem. I’m a great believer that we hold on to shame secretly, and that deep self-doubt links into shame conversations: “am I enough?”, “will I be accepted?”. So we avoid the task, because it feels uncomfortable.

I recently put off putting a presentation together. I told myself it was because I was busy. In reality I was frightened the presentation would be criticised if I didn’t do a good job. I made it about time, when it was about my fear of acceptance.

The problem is that once we go ahead and procrastinate, the negative thoughts compound. Every time we think about the task, the stress and anxiety build. Putting the task off treats that stress for a while: we reward ourselves by completing some other activity and get short-term respite from the anxiety, like putting off an assignment by cleaning the bedroom. It becomes a cycle of self-blame while we try to help ourselves feel better.

Sounds a bit messy, doesn’t it? But we can help ourselves by recognising that procrastination is not about getting things done. It is about emotions. As humans we like to reward ourselves, and we set up pathways in the brain. We need to set up new pathways, and reward ourselves without avoiding the task.

“I made it about time, when it was about my fear of acceptance.”

A few tools:

1. Work out what is going on for you when you procrastinate. Be your own investigator. What is happening in your head and your body? As you notice it, does it fade or grow?
2. Think about what you can do next. I always say you eat an elephant one bite at a time. Try to do only the next thing.
3. Forgive yourself for procrastinating. People who forgive themselves procrastinate less next time, and find it easier to work out why they were avoiding it in the first place.
4. Practise self-compassion. The more we procrastinate, the harsher and more critical we become with ourselves. A bit of self-kindness does more for motivation, self-esteem and optimism.
5. Talk to yourself. Reframe the task. How have previous times gone that worked out fine? What will it mean to have it done? How will you feel when it is finished?
6. Tackle the things you use to avoid the task. Make avoidance harder and put roadblocks in the way. If you are tempted by a game on your phone rather than starting the assignment, delete the game.

Good luck with tackling things when they need doing. Reflect, and learn about yourself. And leave the laundry cupboard alone.