I may not be your cup of tea
Six things worth checking when you are choosing a counsellor, including whether you actually like them.
I was recently referred a client who rang and asked whether they could ask me some questions. I told them something I say to all my new clients: “I may not necessarily be your cup of tea.”
That matters. How a client chooses a counsellor is important, and there are some criteria I have used myself to work out whether a counsellor I was seeing was the right fit for me.
Here are six things I think clients should look for.
Registration, insurance and association memberships
All psychologists in Australia must be registered with AHPRA. Counsellors are registered with two bodies: the ACA (Australian Counselling Association) and PACFA (Psychotherapy and Counselling Federation of Australia), which ensure counsellors have met education requirements, ongoing professional development, insurance standards and first aid qualifications. Registered counsellors must re-register annually and provide proof every year. If you have found a counsellor, check whether they are registered.
Location and hours
You may want to fit counselling around where you are and the hours someone practises. Life is challenging enough without a lot of effort just to get to an appointment. I have driven over an hour to see a counsellor, but I have never changed my work hours to fit someone in. Work out what is and isn’t negotiable for you.
Cost
The price needs to be right for you, and for the length of time you think you will be working together. Sometimes you can manage a higher price for a shorter period; if the therapy is likely to be longer term, that has to be part of the decision. A registered practitioner does need to be paid for their work, but there is no point seeing a great counsellor if you don’t have enough money left to eat or pay your rent. Have the conversation about fees and any available support up front.
How they work
Different counsellors use different modalities, based on their training, skills and interests. You may want to ask which they tend to prefer, and whether it suits your style and your needs. I have always been drawn to approaches involving process, accountability and solutions, which is probably down to my nursing background and my personality. I tend to ask new clients in the first session whether they have had counselling before, what they experienced, and what they liked. That conversation can save a lot of heartache early.
Personal questions
I recently had a client who came with their partner. In our first conversation, I was asked how long I had been married. Counsellors don’t have to share personal information, but I was aware that what this client was really asking was whether I would be able to help with their particular issue. I find it useful to share some information about myself, within reason. That is my choice; other counsellors may not. If it would help you, it doesn’t hurt to ask.
Are they your cup of tea?
After all of that, it may come down to whether you like the person. Are you comfortable with their manner? Do you like their style? This is someone you may sit and share the deepest, most intimate information with. They might watch you grapple with shame, or guilt, or anger. They might see you, warts and all, and you have to be able to build the trusting relationship that real change requires.
It is as simple as: are you comfortable with them?
